How to force myself to do what I don’t like, or don’t want to do

Variant 1 – when “to-do list” has a few items (hard and easy)
Variant 2 – when I must to do something unpleasant, without variants

Variant 1. When to-do list simultaneously contains difficult/unpleasant and easy/wish tasks. 

What is usually recommended?

Usually success & motivation coachers recommend to make the list of all cases for the day. If it belong to job, then take ready plan of work, duty regulation, or if your job is not specify, then make the same list arbitrarily by itself. For each point, assign a numerical value from 1 to 10, where 1 – very easy task, 10 – very difficult, and sort the list by these values. Then start to carry out this list, doing the most difficult and disgusting cases, and in the end, you will reward yourself with something easy and enjoyable… Bullshit! Maybe, it will be optimal decision for any “Bio-robots”, but not for normal people.

Why does it work badly?

Let’s consider the typical scenario of what is occurs in this case:

You start to accomplish the things you don’t like. Already, awareness of this itself – immediately spoils your mood. Bad mood increases probability to make a mistake. With the first mistake, you already, perhaps, start getting angry, and saying something like: “I knew it”. And when you have to remake and correct something, it takes even more time and creates even more negative. With nervousness, increases probability of conflicts with other people, in its turn, this also have bad influence on work results. So, with difficulties, in suffering, you overcome all duties. And when there comes a moment to carry out passion doings, you are tired and worn out, and it turns out that this doings are not so good, and “it is not really what I wanted”. In the same routine way you finish it, if only to be though with perishable list as soon as possible. I.e. practically you untwisted a “negative wheel” and have not received a great time neither in the beginning nor in the end.

So what’s the solution? 

From the above, received the simplest conclusion: you need to start with spinning a “positive wheel”. Firstly, make that cases from which your “soul is singing”, i.e. so-called, the most desired things. After that, embark that you doesn’t really like, but it the easiest. In this way, having done only the most desirable and easy, and looking into the list, you’ll find out that you have already made 1/2 or even 2/3 of all work. And self awareness that you didn’t lounged about, already improves mood and gives self-confidence. You feel yourself the master of your life. Barely perceptible thoughts are appear: “I work effectively – I’m moving to the goal – I’m fine!”. Such mental installation + good mood gives you a lot of energies and powerful impulse to accomplish all the rest. And, as a general rule, with good result.

Why such a variant is better?

Many people argue with me on this occasion, trying to prove, that difficult start is the right way. As a rule, they are adherents of the old stereotypes, either, who have a «bright band» in their lives at the moment, everything turns out and they doesn’t need an additional motivation. Then I ask: “Did you try to act in the same way during depressed condition? – Try it. With a high degree of probability, either you will do nothing from the list, or you will do it in such a way, that it will have a negative result, when they say: “I wish I had not done anything at all!”. And when you starting with passion, you untwisting a positive algorithmics, with out additional efforts and time costs for motivation, i.e. in a natural way!
That’s why do not listen to those, who repeat that, you have to do something with difficulty. It will be right only in that case, when you believe that your life is created for suffer.

Variant 2. When you don’t like anything at all, every task is difficult and plunge you into depression.

Essence. 

In a desperate and hard situation, an optimal decision will be “To rent out yourself*” for it’s self and consciously, with effort of will, refuse from suffering, and ideally – try to find something good in this.

*To rent out yourself – back off and observe yourself, and take a look at situation, as if it happens with some one else.

How to do it?

For better understanding, I’ll give a real example from my life experience.

In a difficult period of my life, I had to turn a penny at a construction site, only in order to earn enough for food. Basically it was montage and finishing works of facades. Roasted, but tolerantly. And one day, I was sent to underground garage, where I had to justify the ceiling with the jackhammer, specifically it was waves-defects which was made in the initial building period. Concrete was high-strength, and I had to “bite off” practically each crushed stone. Available instruments were: usual hammer and chisel, perforator with bump function, and electric heavy duty hammer itself, which weight was about 33-44 pounds (15-20 kilos). Of course, at first the little perforator seemed to be the most optimal variant, it was lightweight and comfortable to hold. But its power was so tiny, that my work would be continuing for weeks. So I had to take heavy instrument…

There were indescribable feelings)). As it was heavyweight by itself, it was even hard to hold it on the raised hands, but for ceiling chiseling, additionally, it needs to be pressed and overcome blows, because it is seeks just for bouncing. Of course, physically it was extremely difficult, and constant flow of dust aggravated the general impression, which fell on head all the time.

In such situations, mind usually reacting in the following way: “Extremely difficult! – Panic? – Keen? – Complain? – Suffer!!!”. My mind was not an exception, and, may by, for the first 10 minutes it’s played all the spectrum of negative feelings and emotions. Then I understood, in such mind condition, body, under such enormous pressure, just physically could not perform this work. On that moment I knew something about the power of mind and started to change my attitude to the situation purposefully.

Every time, when I wanted, habitually, to do a negative conclusion or emotion arose, which corresponded to this penal servitude. I pull down myself and repeat over and over again: “It is a perfect training! With every recoil of the jack-hammer my shoulders, back and arms are getting stronger and much more hardy”. It gave me a huge relief, and I was able to finish this work, and at the end, sincerely enjoyed the salary.

Conclusion.

If I just agonized and then got the money for the hard work, then in my head, on thoughts level, and maybe, even on neural connections, the formula would be established (logical chain):

Work ➜ Suffering ➜ Money

Unfortunately, such formula sat down in many good peoples heads. But you can not do it this way! Practically all rich and famous people repeat that the got rich doing loved and pleasing affair. But, if in this moment you have to do what you does not want, something difficult, moral or physically. Just make a decision and refuse to be victim. By effort of will, declare it positive personally for you. And ultimately, you will not only reduce negative effects, but often, even really would turn the situation in you favor.